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Women in Ministry Series: Well-Behaved Women Won’t Change the Church

Years ago, if you looked up the definition of "Christian Good Girl", I swear my picture would be right next to it. I was so good at being good! I knew how to keep the peace. I knew how to give people what they want. I know how to put my needs last. I knew how to say all the right things at the right time to sound really spiritual. I knew how to be nice.

Although I was not raised in a Christian home, when I turned my life over to Christ and joined his team, I found that all of the people-pleasing, peace-making, good-girl skills I had learned as a child of an alcoholic raised in chaos worked perfectly in the spiritual realm as well.

I earned all kinds of praise in the churches I was in for my good-girl-ness. Kathy’s so nice. Kathy’s such a team player. Kathy’s so easy to get along with.

None of these things were hard for me to do. They were like reflexes, a natural and immediate instinct to assess the situation, and then adjust to keep the peace and maintain whatever status quo needed to be maintained.

Over the years, though, as I started to do some personal healing work and begin to look at the unhealthy patterns in my life, something profound began to shift. I started to tell the truth about my own story. I started to not worry so much about what people thought. I started to advocate for others who couldn’t use their voices yet. I started to disagree. I started to use my voice and stir the pot about change in the church.

I started to worry more about pleasing God than pleasing man.

And guess what happened? Leaders didn’t like it. They liked me a lot better when I was following the rules, playing the good-girl game. A weird and subversive shift occurred when I started showing up more honestly, more passionately as a leader. The best words I can use to describe it are: "painful silence."

In my situation, the painful silence lead to me losing a pastoral ministry job that I loved. The reality was that I was just not "good" enough, submissive enough, to be part of that system anymore. Honestly, if I could have switched back to the Good-Girl fast enough, I might have been able to save my job. Temporarily.

But I was too far gone. My soul and passion had started to come alive and I couldn’t turn back.

As difficult as that season was for me personally, professionally, and spiritually, I am so grateful for it because I learned the most important lesson of my life as a leader:

Well-behaved women won’t change the church.

We just won’t.

Well-behaved women will keep the wheels spinning on systems that keep working, keep growing, keep moving. We will do good and honorable work that matters and helps people and makes a difference in their communities.

But we won’t change the church.

Some people think the church doesn’t need changing; they’re fine with the way things are because it works for them. But I think there a lot more of us out here than even we ourselves know–passionate women who believe the body of Christ needs much more than a face-lift to become all it’s meant to be.

Yeah, well-behaved women will not change the church.

Instead, change in the church will come from not-so-well-behaved women who are willing to risk their pride, reputations, and "being liked" to stand for what God is stirring up in their hearts.

Change in the church will come when women who are called to lead, lead, even when others don’t think they can or should.

Change in the church will come when women refuse to squelch their gifts and begin to unleash them without asking for permission first.

Change in the church will come when women passionately follow Jesus, not systems-made-in-his-name-that-do-not-reflect-his-image.

Change in the church will come when women bravely use their voices, power, and any influence they have to inspire others to be brave, too.

I admit, it’s still sometimes hard for me to not be the good-girl. I miss the safety. I miss the praise. I miss the security, even if it was false. Some days I wish I could make nice like I used to because it was so much easier then.

But the Kingdom of God was never about easy. It was never about comfort. It was never about maintaining the status-quo. It was never about playing nice.

The Kingdom of God Jesus called us to participate in creating–here, now–isn’t well-behaved.

That’s reason enough for us not to be, either.

About Today’s Blogger

Kathy Escobar co-pastorsThe Refuge, an eclectic faith community dedicated to those on the margins of life and faith in North Denver.  A speaker, spiritual director, group facilitator and advocate, Kathy is passionate about healing community, equality, justice, and change in the church.  

Epiphany

Wednesday I put this blog on "private" status, because my failures seemed to be outweighing my calling.  I was afraid to write about my thoughts on a calling that is greater than my desires for myself.  Sometimes I'm selfish about what I want, and I simply don't feel worthy of what God has planned.  However, I discovered something in the day and a half since I tried to shut down.  God thinks I'm greater than that.  He thinks I can do this.  It doesn't matter what I think or what anybody else thinks.  He knows everything I've ever done.  He remembers the days that the closest I was to Him was a prayer to let me feel better and I would never drink again.  He knows I've lied... from the little white ones, to ones that would alter my life.  He knows that being prettier than someone was more important to me than being kind to someone.  He knows that my desire for things was greater than my desire for Him.  He knows that I've committed adultery in many ways, and not cared enough for the body He gave me to behold it as a temple.  He knows that I've chosen food over prayer.  He knows I'm forgetful and not perfectly organized.  He knows that even after choosing Him and moving toward a life of faith that I fell off of the path to things that felt right.  He knows the bitterness and resentment I harbor from my marriage. He knows the guilt I hold for not being a better wife.  He knows my demons, my fears, my desires, my dreams, and He is still choosing me. (I believe perhaps He is choosing me to speak His word because of these things, because I would never feel more righteous than those to whom I'm teaching.)  God came close to me when I was moving away, when I felt least worthy.  After a few frustrating days of tantrums that included swearing, overindulgence in chocolate, crying, and seemingly falling apart, God gave me an actual answer to a prayer:

I was praying (more in desperation than reverence and gratitude) for God to take my personal struggles from me. As I finished praying I laid my teary face in my hands. At that moment, in my mind, I clearly heard “Pick up your mat and walk.” Clearly. It was one of a few times in my life that I’ve known that voice in my head was not my own. I remembered the story in scripture and went straight to the Bible and reread it.

6 When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been there a long time, he said to him, “Do you want to be healed?” 7 The sick man answered him, “Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, and while I am going another steps down before me.” 8 Jesus said to him, “Get up, take up your mat, and walk.” 9 And at once the man was healed, and he took up his mat and walked. – John 5:6-9

And I understood what God is telling me. I have left so much undone, doubted myself, or held back in fear because I have “no one to help put me in the pool” (or with the house, or my job, or to help me through seminary), but that’s not the case at all, and if I want healing I just have to heed his call, and get up and walk.  I have to stop playing the martyr. I know now that my calling is real no matter my circumstances, my sin, or my fear.  My Pastor friend, Kristen, reminded me how humbling it is that God would choose to speak to us simple humans. I'm more amazed that He would share His word in the midst of all my failures. I'm ready now to leave all of my concerns, mistakes, and doubts behind, do the remaining paperwork for Ashland Seminary and move forward...  My friend and seminarian, Vicki, said: "I have prayed for your courage to "pick up your mat" but sometimes leaving it right where it's at feels much safer. At least it's familiar. God is for you, Angie. I know you know that, but do you trust that? That's one of the hardest things to do."  Thank you Vicki for reminding me.  I needed that.  Yes, I believe I finally trust that.


I will continue to share this journey, despite the fact that it doesn't make sense to some, despite my downfalls, despite my own resistance... People follow this blog from all over.  I don't know who everyone is... I don't know your personal callings or choices, but I do hope that maybe my experiences will mean something and that by posting, I can, in some way, share in your journeys too.


...He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry. As soon as he hears it, he answers you. And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher. And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left. - Isaiah 30: 19-21

Happy Easter!

Incredible Easter Day with Family!

Death Becomes a Symbol of Life

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. Then you will live in the land I gave your ancestors; you will be my people, and I will be your God. - Ezekial 36: 26-28

My Way for Today: Potato Leek Soup, Bread, Cookies and Notes for Some Deflated by Radiation and Chemo

Sometimes Scripture Can Speak When I Can't Find Words...

If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus. - Philippians 2:1-5 

My Way for Today:  A Letter of Faith, Hope, and the Greatest of These is Love

My Way for Today

One day when we were in Haiti we had an amazing dinner of a wonderful casserole, green salad, and delicious, dense bread with fresh butter.  There was plenty for everyone and then some.  It was a gorgeous, starry, warm night, and our team went out for a walk with the other medical team that housed at CSI during the week. The walk was actually a tarantula hunt.  We had fun searching the nooks of the rock walls for the huge, hairy spiders. (I think I shuddered or jumped fifty times as the grass brushed my legs.  Freaked out would be an understatement!)  We got lots of great pictures and hoped that in the crevices was where the tarantulas would stay.

As we walked back to the compound enjoying the company and warm breeze, I felt a tug at my arm.  I looked down to see a little boy who was probably about 7 (my son Wyatt's age) staring up at me.  The boy was much smaller than Wyatt and had a runny nose and sores about his nose and mouth.  His brother, who was probably 10 or 11 (like my Tori), stood behind him.  The small boy spoke fast French-Creole, and I couldn't tell what he wanted.  I had been able to understand some of the children earlier in the day at the Faith Academy school as we'd speak slowly and point to things as we communicated, but this boy spoke urgently and without gesture.  At a loss, I looked at his brother who spoke slower, pointed, and even had a few English words.  He pointed at me, then the compound, then themselves.  The two English words I heard were "Come" and "Food".  And I understood.  They wanted to come into the home with me and eat.

I don't know if the boys have parents.  I don't know how hungry or sick they were.  I don't know if begging is a lifestyle for them or if they had a desperate need at that moment.  All I know is that I couldn't help them.  See, we were on a mission trip to help those to whom we were appointed by the pastor of the local church.  Each week of the year many teams help different families.  It's not helpful to the people or the community to go down and hand out food or money.  Teams are then bombarded with begging to the point of danger. Our lead missionaries told us members of the community will resent or hurt one another if money is received from the missions teams.  Begging becomes a lifestyle instead of the people in the village learning to work for their living. Along with that, it's not okay to allow the people on the streets to come into the missions house for clothes or food.  It would become a danger to the missionaries as people desperately tried to get in.  Food and clothes have to be properly distributed.  Boundaries have to be set in order for the missionaries to successfully continue God's work in a way that helps many without chaos.  We had been told all of this before we were ever released into the village.  I understand it all; yet, standing in the street with two children, the ages of two of mine, not knowing what would happen to them in the dark of night when I walked away, was excruciating.  I knelt down and asked their names (Jacques and, truthfully, I never understood the small boy's name).  I touched their faces and hugged them and told them I had to go.  In the piti piti (little bit) of French Creole I had picked up I tried to tell them to find Pastor Fritz.  I told them I loved them and walked away.

"Au Revoir", I called.
"Au Revoir", they replied, heads down, defeated...

I walked straight into my room and cried.  I was full of delicious food.  They were hungry.  I was sitting on a bed, they may have no shelter, let alone a bed. How could I spend a week here, seeing this everyday, and not die inside to help each one?  Plus, I had only told them I loved them and not that God loved them.  Had I failed in my mission already? Could I just sneak food out?  No, because that could be dangerous for them and me.  As I sat on the edge of my bed I remembered two pieces from the book, Kisses from Katie, that had impacted me with a true understanding of mission work:


Sometimes working in a Third World country makes me feel like I am emptying the ocean with an eyedropper. And just when I have about half a cup full of water it rains: More orphaned children from the north migrate to where I live, more orphaned and dead babies are found, more people are infected with HIV. It is enough to discourage even the most enthusiastic and passionate person. And yet the discouragement lasts only a moment and God tells me to keep going. That He loves me. That He loves these people. That He will never leave or forsake any of us, not one. That my work is important-to Him. That love is the reason I just keep filling up my little eyedropper, keep filling it up and emptying my ocean one drop at a time. I’m not here to eliminate poverty, to eradicate disease, to put a stop to people abandoning babies. I’m just here to love. - Katie Davis


I have learned that I will not change the world. Jesus will do that. - Katie Davis 


This is the way missionaries (and all of us) have to view God's work:  through love, through the success of one person at a time...

Since I've been home I've thought about those boys and the many other wonderful people I met throughout the week, and I've just wanted to go back to Haiti. But going back is not an option.  Not right now.  My family belongs here.

So, while I wait I've started a new mission.  It's teeny tiny and only requires me.  I call it "My Way for Today".

This mission isn't about my ministries, but is on top of and regardless of those.  "Filling the eyedropper" or starting with one at a time doesn't only happen in church or in third world countries where the need is great and apparent everywhere.  It starts at home.  I can sit stagnantly waiting to return to where my heart is full and my help is greeted with love and joy.  Or I can start here.  Everyday.  Without expecting the same kind of heartfelt gratitude that those who know their poverty offer.  I can help friends, family, strangers...  Everyday.

You'll see it on this blog.  Everyday from here forward.  "My Way..." for that day.  I won't mention a name or why, but just offer the little things in the hopes that perhaps readers will be inspired to help others in their own way.  Everyday.

Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.  - Hebrews 13:16


My Way for Today - 3 Dinners for A Family 

Regrouping

I haven't posted in a while other than sharing a quote or repost.  Since Haiti, life has been a whirlwind.  I've been ill, work's been busy, planning has started for Vacation Bible School, and I've been trying to squeeze in some quality and silly time with the kids.  I've been emotionally and physically challenged for the past two weeks.  I've been working on a plan for seminary, setting career goals (choosing to stay in my present job, rather than taking an opportunity to move), and forcing myself to rest through illness.  Again, it's been a whirlwind... but by God's hand I have a calm about me that wasn't there before Haiti.

I started another little blog on a change in our family's nutritional lifestyle and I've posted on there daily.  But that's easy, it's emotionless, just recipes and daily information.  I've stopped in here nearly everyday thinking that there's so much I have to say to my seminary friends community and my readers.  There are pieces of my journey I'd like to share, stories of the mission trip, and hopes...  Yet I haven't been able to muster the energy to do it.  Frankly, today's post doesn't say much more than "Sorry, I'm tired and haven't posted lately", but I will be back soon and I do have a lot to share, particularly about my mission trip, my plane ride epiphany, and my hopes for future missions.  There are some things I need to settle within myself to focus on this journey, but never fear, I, much like the broken branch in my (Kristen's) previous post, am thriving through brokenness and ready to bloom again.  I'll be back in full force with my seminary schedule and mission plans in no time.

So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched (wo)man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!  Romans 7:21 - 24

A Post that Moved Me From My Lovely, Newly Commissioned, Nearly Pastor Friend Kristen

Reflections on a Broken Tree Branch

By: Kristen Wall Love

I was walking the dog last night around 11pm, and, since it was warm I decided to stray a bit further than the closest patch of grass.  The dog stopped to sniff around and I was stopped in such a way that I immediately noticed the street lamp reflecting off the buds on a tree.  The way the light was hitting the new growth with the dark backdrop was very beautiful and seemed to call for me to investigate.  I looked upward into the night sky and saw that these precious little green and pink buds were bursting from every possible nook and cranny of the tree.  Then I saw the broken branch that was still attached to the tree, but limply hung by a few threads of wood at a 45-degree angle facing the ground.  I vividly recalled the incident where I had reprimanded a neighborhood boy two summers ago for maliciously trying to break the branches off of this tree for fun.  I began to lament how humans can so easily destroy the natural world—sometimes unintentionally and sometimes just because we can. 

My train of thought was interrupted by an urge to more closely inspect the limp branch.  I did not move at first and observed that the branch did not appear to be dead.  In fact, as I moved closer, I was amazed to see that this branch had just as many buds on it as the rest of the branches on the tree (I hope no one was watching me do this, as I probably appeared to be out of my mind).  I could not repress a joyful smile of awe and my eyes welled with thanksgiving to God.  I thought of ways that I might be able to “help” the branch by propping it up by aligning it with its prior place on the tree trunk.  But as I went to move the hanging branch, I stopped and became still with my hand still touching the branch.  If I attempted to move the branch I may damage it so that it will cease living.  Obviously it was doing just fine without my “help.”  It was apparently thriving in its brokenness.

This branch made me think about areas of brokenness in my own life, in the lives of those I love and in the world.  Although I assumed this branch was dead two years ago and never gave it another thought, it was culminating nutrients and going on with normal functions, adapting to its altered state and carrying out the functions for which it was made.  To me it was a lost cause.  It was broken beyond repair.  It is still broken, yet today it lives and bears fruit!  How often do we write a person or a situation off as a lost cause?  There are no lost causes to God, including me, you, and everyone who lives on the earth.  That is good news!  

God did not cause the branch to break—that was done by a human being.  Our gracious Creator worked around the brokenness—perhaps with the brokenness—so that the branch might still bud and flower into a life-giving creation.  This lone branch and its meaning (to me) has been forever etched on my heart. 

Thanks be to God!

At the very top it is visible just how broken this branch is. Yet, we can also see new life in the form of green buds.

Home

I'm safely home from Haiti and while I wish I was happy to be home, I'm not.  Instead I wish I could take my children back into the world filled with kindness, simplicity, and the slow pace of island time. Haiti is an oxymoron of poverty and devastation coupled with breathtaking mountains, bountiful fruit trees, and beautiful people.  Life there is difficult in terms of need, yet so simple compared to here.  The love of Jesus Christ is met with gratitude and servitude comes easy.  I feel so out of place here.  Jumping straight back into daily life won't be easy and while I have so much to share, I don't feel like talking. Perhaps this isn't the best attitude, so I'll take a deep breath and be thankful that I am blessed to have so much and to have had the opportunity to go into a place in which I can't wait to return...

Isaiah 58
¹⁰ And if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry 
   and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, 
then your light will rise in the darkness, 
   and your night will become like the noonday. 
¹¹ The LORD will guide you always; 
   he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land 
   and will strengthen your frame. 
You will be like a well-watered garden, 
   like a spring whose waters never fail. 
¹² Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins 
   and will raise up the age-old foundations; 
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, 
   Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

I often use the words "I trust God," but if I did, if I truly did, I wouldn't be trying to control every little thing in my life.  I wouldn't be as fearful as I am...  I pray and get answers, then question whether those answers were the ones I wanted or needed.  I speculate.  I contemplate.  But I don't trust.  Not fully.  If I did I'd be praying  instead of blogging to relieve this fear of the future that has wrapped itself around my heart.  

Even those of us firm in our faith have a moment where we are simply at a loss...

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and He helps me!  Psalm 28:7

Jesus vs Religion

Food for thought...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IAhDGYlpqY

Peace Be With You and Us...

I'm going on a mission trip to Haiti through CSI Ministries on February 24, 2012.  There have been recent incidents near Port-Au-Prince, Haiti of robberies and shootings, including an incident that occurred in the compound where we will be ministering, and one where a Columbus man, Dave Bompart, passed away.  These incidents were all robberies and not simply a target of missionaries.  It's difficult for people (whether they are friends, family, church members, or co-workers) to fathom that I would still go on this mission trip knowing about these recent occurrences.  So today I respond to concerns:


1.  "A Haiti Mission is Too Dangerous"


Imminent Danger Can Be Found Right Next Door:
*  The shootings in Columbus, Ohio were in the double digits over the past few weeks.  Many of these incidents occurred in my personal sales territory and the majority of them in broad daylight.


We're Hyper-Focused on Haiti Because It's Our Next Mission Destination:
*  If you Google "American shot in...", or "American Missionaries Killed In"... you will find multiple stories.  This isn't the first country or first occurrence.


We Successfully Ministered to Children With Aids in Honduras in 2011 and Sent a Team Down This Week with Little Worry:
*  Google "Murder capital of the world"
*  Note this link: http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/story/2012-01-16/peace-corps-Honduras/52605494/1


God's View on Dangerous??
*  I couldn't find a story in the Bible where God told disciples to stay home because it was too dangerous - As a matter of fact it was quite the opposite.  Are we so far out of Biblical discipleship that those were just good stories?


2.  "The Trip is Unprotected Because There are Sinners Going" (Yes, That was a real spoken concern and yes, I'm shaking my head...)


My Friends, We are All Sinners...  
*  Not one of us has a clean slate!  While I can quote hundreds of scripture on sin and how we as Christians can protect one another against sin, God's view of sin, and how to turn away from sin,  I could NOT find a single scripture that said to turn them away from the church.  I understand God's Word to say that we should embrace one another and encourage repentance.
*  If anyone believes God will have us murdered in Haiti because of sin, I'm a goner...


3.  "You Have a Family"


God's Word Speaks for Itself

* The LORD had said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you. - Genesis 12:1

* Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me". Luke 9:23

* If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters--yes, even his own life--he cannot be my disciple. - Luke 14:26 (No, I don't hate my family and please know I don't believe our version of "hate" is what Jesus meant.  I do believe that once you've been called you have to love Jesus more than anything else to answer)

I Will Teach My Children to Trust in God and that Good Prevails!

*  I think it was best said by a fellow missionary:

The good hearted, peace loving people of the world have always out numbered the ones willing to do things like this.   If we cower in fear, they win.  I'm choosing not to let them deter me from what I want to do.  We'll take every possible precaution but I still intend to go.    

*  My children are encouraging me to go more than anyone.  They truly believe God will protect our team and that we are meant to help regardless.

4.  "You Need to Help Right Here Instead" (Also phrased as "What do you do to help in America where we need it as much?")

Yes, I do... And I Am

*  You who said this are right.  Mission work begins at home! I absolutely believe in helping everywhere (see below)...  Someone asked me if I needed a list of where to help locally.  I assure you I have a pretty good list going, and can always use volunteers! :)  

Church Ministries - Camp Kingdom Come Children's Church Director, JOY Youth Music, Vacation Bible School Director, Praize band member, United Methodist Women

Locally - Regularly give to Friends Who Share, Volunteer for Community Open Table, give to Teen Moms

Family / Friends - Provide care, food, support in times of need

Regionally - Donate to Faith Mission, Ambassador to Flat Rock Childrens' Home

Nationally - Going on our first US Youth Mission Trip this year - Yay!

Internationally - Montaña de Luz Honduras, CSI Haiti (Hopefully Uganda and Costa Rica)

If you have followed my blog you know that my journey and my calling were sealed on my trip to Honduras.  I know now that I have been called to be in missions for years.  Nothing has ever been as clear to me as my call to minister to those in desperate need wherever they may be.  This is not necessarily an easy feat for me.  I don't love flying.  That's when I feel most apt to die, and I toss back a few Dramamine along with prayerful trust that God wants me there.  If something should happen to myself or members of our team, I would still believe that we were meant to go and be God's hands and feet...  A few weeks ago I wavered on my decision to go on this mission to Haiti based on the fear of others.  I was even frustrated with those that told me God had laid it on their hearts that He would protect us.  Through prayer and listening to what God is putting on my own heart I understand that I should go!  I love you all dearly! May you have peace knowing that our team is confident in our decision and are trusting in God to lead us.  May peace be with us as we carry out His plan...

"I have but one candle of life to burn, and I would rather burn it out in a land filled with darkness than in a land flooded with light" — John Keith Falconer

And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.” - Mark 16:15

“Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” - Matthew 28: 19-20

“But we will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word.” - Acts 6:4

“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” - Acts 1:8

Little Lessons

I shared this little story on Facebook tonight, and thought it was worth sharing here as well:


During dinner my girls were tearfully ranting about another girl who was blatantly mean to them (ah, middle school) and how mad they were... At bedtime, we finished praying and Wyatt (age 7) says "And we pray for (name of said girl). We pray that whatever makes her sad enough to say mean things gets fixed, and that people are nice to her anyway. Amen." Perfectly said, Wyatt, and a lesson to all...


I wish I consistently had a heart that loved others enough to pray for them before berating them. Thank you Wyatt for reminding me.


But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you 
- Matthew 5:44


Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven - Matthew 18:4

Good Words for Hard Days...

No matter how many times you get knocked down, keep getting back up. God sees your resolve. He sees your determination. And when you do everything you can do, that’s when God will step in and do what you can’t do.  God knows your value; He sees your potential. You may not understand everything you are going through right now. But hold your head up high, knowing that God is in control and he has a great plan and purpose for your life. Your dreams may not have turned out exactly as you’d hoped, but the bible says that God’s ways are better and higher than our ways, even when everybody else rejects you, remember, God stands before you with His arms open wide. He always accepts you. He always confirms your value. God sees your two good moves! You are His prized possession. No matter what you go through in life, no matter how many disappointments you suffer, your value in God’s eyes always remains the same. You will always be the apple of His eye. He will never give up on you, so don’t give up on yourself.  -  Joel Osteen

Sigh...

       

There's something wonderful about walking into our church.  I've been out of church on Sundays for a couple of weeks for cheerleading competitions and, MAN, I miss it!!  It was so refreshing to hear encouraging words from friends and to discuss new ministries.  We've been trying to worship and pray together as a family, but it's not the same.  I had a pitiful day today and just walking into church and visiting with our church family seemed to make it all fall away, if only for a moment.

For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. - Romans 12:5

You know, I've had readers point out a few things to me lately.  One, in particular, knocked the wind out of me, but that one will be addressed in another post ("Grace Alone" - Coming Soon).  Another comment was directed at me in a comedic way and I laughed at myself for a moment.  Then I thought about how true the reader's words were...

This was the gist of what he had to say:

"Angie - I read your blog.  It's a good read, but (no offense) one post will talk a lot about making changes, and then the next post will talk about making a change, then the next post talks about more change, change for you, changes that anyone can make... But are you doing it?  Are you making these changes that you say you need to make, or living by the ones you encourage other people to make? You say you want 2012 to be different, but I feel like the next post should hold the lyrics from Wilson Philips "Hold On for One More Day", and if that happens I'm just going to break your computer.  Make the changes, be who you want to be, so you can be happy and blog about something else... I want you to do and be everything you want, but for God's sake, just do it."

Wow.  I reread some of my posts, and he's right.  I do talk a lot about change.  And I have to ask myself - "Am I walking the walk?"  The "walk" for me is based on a variety of things, not just a spiritual journey, but meeting goals and making a difference.  Whatever it is I'm still not doing,  it's time to "just do it".

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein  


Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. - 2 Corinthians 15-17

Please God...

1/16 update:  Amy is having contractions and back in labor and delivery.  Just praying things are well... will you do the same?

Two words followed by short sentences reverberated through my head as I absent-mindedly cleaned up my house after my Mom's birthday party tonight.

Please God...  Let the baby be okay.

Please God...  Keep Amy healthy.

Please God...  Help Amy and Jeff to be strong and grow in this experience.

Please God...  Let it all work out.

My sister, Amy, is laboring and progressing at 32 weeks.  She's been taken off of work and it supposed to rest...  supposed to, except she has a one and two year old.  I pray for her and that the tiny baby doesn't come yet.  I ask all of you to pray for them as well.  Please. 


Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven.  For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.  - Matthew 18: 19-20


A new baby is like the beginning of all things - wonder, hope, and a dream of possibilities.


Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart - Jeremiah 1:5    

Dropping Balls

My life feels like a juggling act.  I'm constantly juggling work, ministries, my children's activities, daily routine (bills, housework, meals, bathing, sleep), and time of rest (the ball I pick up least).  I think I've become a speed juggler in order to maintain routine, which allows a lot more room for error.  Lately, whenever I appear to be juggling quickly and effectively, someone throws up, thus adding another item to the act and causing me to drop everything.  In addition, I believe I've added a few swords (unnecessary items) of my own to my act.  Many of you reading this may feel the same, particularly if you have children at home.

The truth is, while "life isn't a spectator sport", no one can successfully be a juggler all of the time.  To be candid, I've been dropping balls lately because I can't continue juggling well without putting a few balls down or occasionally tossing off to a partner.  Knowing this I've been considering what it takes to successfully manage all of these "balls".  As I began to establish a plan to manage I prayed and read scripture and devotionals to help my "juggling" align with God's plan.

First and foremost, I considered my goals.  I wrote my goals out.  Then I wrote out how to get there.

Second, I took a look at the order of my priorities.   I read a lot of great information on priorities as a Christian as I was researching.  This seemed to be the order of my priorities:

God
Children
Family and Friends
Ministries
Work
Me

It wasn't necessarily the order that made the most sense, so I changed it and established a plan to make it work.  Here's why:

God - If He isn't completely first, nothing else succeeds
Me (diet, exercise and recreation, time of rest, sleep) - Can't help anyone else without putting own health first
Children - My given role in life now is as a mother
Daily Home Maintenance - For me it's difficult to operate anything else when my home is out of order
Work - Needs of family and friends cannot be met or ministries may not be successful without income
Time with Family and Friends - Ministries can be grown when love is first shared among family and friends
Ministries - When you place your life in order successful ministries can be established and grown

Third, I took a look at my schedule.  I have a great written schedule, but it lacks consistency.  I miss my workouts often.  I rarely get into bed in time to allow for enough sleep.  I am easily distracted.  I have poor grocery planning for items that need to be taken to events, so I'm always running at the last minute.  Today, I committed to my written schedule, because I know proper time management will be a key to balance.

These things won't stick without my commitment, and I will only go on juggling and dropping unless I commit. If you feel like a juggler I encourage you to take a look at the three keys above in your own life.  God has a great plan for each of us and we may be missing it in our haste and disorganization.  Life isn't being lived to the fullest when we're chasing after "dropped balls".

Good article:  http://www.tipsonlifeandlove.com/self-help/life-as-a-three-ring-circus-learning-how-to-achieve-balance

If you want to make good use of your time, you’ve got to know what’s most important and then give it all you’ve got. - Lee Iacocca


Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. - Ephesians 5:15-17


PS - HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my MOM!!!!!

Prayer and Winning Passes

Oh my gosh!  There is nothing that will rot your brain faster than reading the answers to such things as "Yahoo Questions."  So many people write without thinking at all!  I am ever amused (yet saddened and appalled) by people's responses to Christianity.  It's enough to make your head spin!


What prompts this kind of a blog?  Well, Tim Tebow (Denver Broncos and prior Florida Gators quarterback if you didn't know) of course!  Is anything else being discussed in the news right now?  I rarely follow celebrity activity whether it's an athlete, movie star, or pop star.  People are people.  We all live and die.  It's what we do that makes a difference while we're here that matters.  I just simply can't help giving my 2 cents on Tim Tebow. This kid has landed himself in the limelight, more so than other rookie quarterbacks, more for his faith than his talent.  His love for Christ has spawned more discussion between his fans and haters (yes, I just said haters) than I could imagine.  I saw a headline that his overtime pass against the Pittsburgh Steelers set a record for tweets on Twitter at 9,420 per second!  What?!  People are suggesting that his win was Biblically ordained. He threw for 316 yards, and 31.6 yards per play, which they are relating to John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he sent His only son that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life."  


All of this hype has posed the question, "Does God care about football?"  I guess I find this the most amusing of all.  I believe the answer is "No", nor does He specifically care about any other sport.  However, God cares about Tim Tebow.  He cares about you and He cares about me and He does want us to be happy and He will answer prayers.  When you have a relationship with Jesus Christ and you pray for your desires and needs I believe He answers prayers if those prayers are with God in mind.  Now,  notice the highlighted with God in mind.  Tim Tebow has done so much good with the money he's making.  He has used his platform in the spotlight as an opportunity to lay witness to his Savior.  He is raising awareness of charities through his celebrity status.  I do believe he has some answered prayers on his side.  (I realize I am opening a whole can of "Then why didn't God answer my prayers for healing or other prayers?" with this statement and that's another whole post).  Tim Tebow is trying as an athlete.  He is open in his faith in Jesus.  He seems to be a good kid.  I'd like to see people let him be, hear his witness with an open mind, and be happy for his successes (even if he found God's favor enough to get them).  I also pray he knows that with the open faith comes the magnifying glass for mistakes.  We all make mistakes, but when you make a difference and make mistakes, those errors seem greater.  Be good Tebow.  Keep the faith and beat the Patriots! :)

"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." (Matthew 7:7) "Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 18:19) "And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive." (Matthew 21:22) "Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them." (Mark 11:24) "If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?" (Luke 11:13) "And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it." (John 14:13-14) "And in that day ye shall ask me nothing. Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, he will give it you." (John 16:23) "For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him." (Romans 10:12) "For through him we both have access by one Spirit unto the Father." (Ephesians 2:18) "Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." (Hebrews 4:16) "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the blood of Jesus. . (Hebrews 10:19) "And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him." (1 John 5:14-15)

Hard Work Pays Off :)

So proud...

What an amazing adrenaline filled weekend!!  The Northstar girls did a beautiful job and earned Grand Champion All Stars!  All of them performed with so much heart... such a talented team!  I'm proud of all the kids for their work, sportsmanship, and spirit!

A Hopeful Future

Worth sharing...

http://www.proverbs31.org/devo_print.php?d=2012-01-05

For the Love of Technology...

I sent a text to a family member yesterday requesting that we meet up to discuss some lesson plans for our children's church she is teaching for January.  She never texted me back.  I assumed she was frustrated with having to take on so much responsibility in my absence and wondered what I was going to do about it.

I sent a return text to a co-worker to confirm a meeting and she still emailed last night to request a confirmation.  Weird.

I received a nasty voicemail from a client to whom I sent a text to confirm her insurance coverage.  

My daughter, Sam, was incredibly disrespectful by not being outside of an activity when I texted her to tell her I had arrived as was planned.  

I did not receive a response from a text sent to my ex-husband about info for the kids.

I couldn't, for the life of me, understand why one friend didn't respond to my question.

I received several questions from people asking for answers I had given via text.

Due to the fact that these incidents occurred several hours apart, and that I was receiving emails, calls, and texts,  I didn't realize that none of my texts were going out.  Instead I just had an ample amount of irritation, sadness, or concern regarding each scenario.  I finally recognized the problem this afternoon while speaking with my sister and forgave each person that had never done anything wrong in the first place.  I sent out an email explaining the issue.

Now, tonight starting at around 10, several of the texts that I had written for the past two days suddenly went out.  I got some crazy and confused responses, particularly from Sam who thought I wanted her to run out of the house in her PJs at 10pm.  It was a terribly misunderstood and frustrating day!

The lesson:  I've put too much trust in my smartphone to handle my life.  Technology as a replacement for myself as the human operator of my interactions won't always work out.  Technology cannot replace human relationships.

I've watched as my children have virtual relationships with their friends, been personally surprised at the audacity people have at saying things via text that they wouldn't in regular conversation, and been on the brink of swearing or tossing technology out the window on many occasions.  Perhaps we are isolating ourselves from one another and underestimating the value of good old fashioned conversations and face to face interactions.  While I'm not going to chuck my smartphone just yet (I'll upgrade to the iphone instead), I will be certain to take care in trying a personal conversation before making assumptions about the reliability of technology.

Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense.
Gertrude Stein

Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.  A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion. - Proverbs18:1-2